Emma Veronica

The final day of 31 days of writing (or 30 days if you're me and you took a day off). I have loved sharing these words with you over the past month. I hope the experience has allowed the Holy Spirit to speak through me and whisper to your heart and give you some wisdom.  I know that he has definitely worked in me. I'm currently working on some writing goals for 2019, that way I'll be here more often than I have been. And a new website is in the works, so stay tuned! Thank you so much for your love and support-- I really and truly appreciate it! So for this final day, I leave you with a prayer: Father, thank you for moments of peace in the middle of crazy schedules, hectic lives, and struggles in this life that lay heavy on our hearts day to day. Your peace surpasses understanding, and for this we are grateful.  I thank you for this journey you've brought me on, and the friends that have supported me along the way.  Bless them and fill them with your joy and you...

Orange unfurls from green and lies under layers of brown. Roots are planted deep, but canopies are left bare with death as bitter winds befriend my nose and fingers. I pray my roots are deep enough to endure the change of season. What if death consumes everything that sits on the surface so everything underneath is exposed? Dig deep, patiently wait for the sprout to emerge, let the roots begin to sink in. The winds may blow the leaves away and break some branches, but resurrection comes with change too. Hope lives in the roots.

I'm going to back-track here... back to truth. Remember how I said it's connected to love? Christopher Heuertz says in The Sacred Enneagram  that "there is divine love in all truth no matter where it's from." But see, sometimes the truth hurts. So where's the love then? What about the truth that I am broken and selfish and impatient and human? When we are held accountable, we typically don't like hearing where we've gone wrong. And yet, being held accountable is so valuable and necessary. It helps us see who we truly are-- even the ugly bits.  It teaches us how we can grow and who we are becoming.  It draws us closer to Love. When you can see where you struggle, you can also choose to see your potential. I believe that's how God sees all of us.  He sees our cracked pieces and sees beauty because he can see the final work. It requires hope on our end, and patience to hear and develop from hard truth. So next time you hear someone tell you that t...

Today Pastor Chris (at Riverbank Church in White River Junction, VT) talked about one of my favorite topics-- Christian leadership.  What do you think of when we hear the word "leader?" Maybe you think, "sure, I'm a leader." That's great! But maybe you think, "uh, no way, I don't have the abilities or the gifts to be a leader." And if that's you, I understand where you are coming from. But friend, I'm lovingly telling you, you're dead wrong. As Christians, we are all leaders.  Really, I think we're just defining leadership wrong. Leadership, from a biblical standpoint, is serving others (Matthew 20:28), influence (Galatians 5:16-25), responsibility (Galatians 6:4-5), character (2 Peter 1:3), and skill (Luke 1610-12). We all have the Holy Spirit living inside of us, and he is the most powerful influence. So if we have him living inside of us, and working through us, how can we not be leaders? See, God does not call the qualif...

No post yesterday... but you get two today! You know when you get a day off (I know, what's a "day off?") and all you want to do is flop down on the couch with a blanket, maybe some tea, and just watch Netflix or read a good book? Or just mindlessly scroll through your phone? Basically, just do nothing.  But you know you have a list of things you need to or at least should do.  So you drag yourself through the day and slowly procrastinate until you can't any longer and you do what needs doing.  Tell me it's not just me. This was my day. And believe me when I say that there are days when I do nothing all day.  It's rare that I have the chance, but when I do, it's pretty wonderful.  Sometimes our bodies need physical rest. You work hard all week, and caring for your body is a good thing.  But, potato-ing around all day (I'm making that a thing, by the way) is not sabbath. I've seen so many people post pictures of themselves lounging around sa...

Yesterday I drove up to New Hampshire to visit Ian (my boyfriend). I got there later in the afternoon and I had spent the morning working on things at home.  About an hour after I got to NH, we went to the Fall Festival at his church across the border in Vermont. By the time we got there, it was dark already, I was pretty tired and hungry, and this event was HUGE.  Much bigger than I expected. It was really cool-- food trucks, pony rides, laser tag, trunk-or-treating, Incredibles 2 playing on the side of the church, the works. But. Of course. My anxiety decided to form a lens over my eyes.  The crowds of people around me grew louder and I felt trapped amongst the hundreds of bodies.  My heart started to beat faster with every person who walked by. I have anxiety, I've mentioned this before, and many times large crowds will bring it on. I'm sure many of you know the feeling. And it can be the worst. Here I was, looking forward to having a fun time and enjo...

So, I love joy .  It's very different from happy and I've learned a lot about it.  But today I want to ask, are you happy ?  I mean, are you truly content ? Are you doing what you love? See, I think many of us have gotten caught up in the priorities of the world, that we forget to care for ourselves. Or we spend all our energies on others that we leave ourselves completely empty and worn. Don't get me wrong, we should care for others, and we can't always be happy, but there's a balance here. You may need to provide for a family.  You may need to save money for school, or a car, or a house.  We all need money. Therefore we have to work. I'm not asking are you happy every day at your job.  But, do you love what you do? Is there some passion planted in your soul when you do what you do?  Are you content? I know so many people who get home exhausted and drained because they either dread every day, or they have other dreams, or they ignore what their...

Sometimes I don't know what to write. Sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I may have some hopes and dreams, but no detailed plan yet. Recently I've been taking one day at a time, which is odd because I used to be an intense planner. Don't get me wrong, I still love making plans, but I've become more "go with the flow."  I think I'm learning to pace myself and embrace God's timing.  See, I believe that in order to love people well, we need to slow down.  If I'm living in the next moment, I usually rush by the people in front of me, I'm not very available, and I'm not fully engaged.  But if I take the time to see them and actually have a meaningful conversation, even if it's only 2 minutes, I think I can be a little more like Jesus.  Spoiler alert-- I don't usually plan these posts ahead of time. And on days like today when I'm exhausted, I'm looking to the Holy Spirit for even just a word and hearin...

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.  For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will reap from the Spirit eternal life.  And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, an especially to those who are of the household of faith. -Galatians 6:7-10 You reap what you sow. Reap: to cut or gather Sow: to plant If you plant what your heart wants, you will harvest what your heart wants... in the end, it's sin and corruption, even if the flowery bits sprouting up say otherwise.  But if you sow in the Spirit, you will harvest eternity with God.  He cannot grow evil or ugly things.  The Spirit nurtures and fertilizes our souls, so when we gather from our actions, we only see his fingerprints and beauty.  So let's do good! Let's b...

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13  A Prayer for your week: As we end the first day of our work, may we be able to rest in the fingerprints of you that carried us through each moment today.  Help us to trust in your grace and the ways you have provided for us before.  Let the manna of today fill and sustain our souls so we may we hope in you to sustain us tomorrow.  You provide more than we could ever possibly imagine.  Your goodness can't help but cause our hearts to beat at peace and it allows our soul to overflow with joy.  Holy Spirit let us remember you.  Guide us through our week, help us place you first so your hope may abound around us. Be with us in all we do. We love you.

Today at church (in PA) the sermon was on the Household of God, and it was titled Church Matters.  In a time when many Christians believe they can follow Jesus and not go too church (and in a sense, that's true), I thought this may be very relevant.  But the message took a very different turn. It went on to talk about how church is good for  you  and how  you  can benefit from church.  And I sat there wriggling in my seat because I kept thinking, "that's great and all... but church isn't about  me ." So ecclesia is the word for both a body of faithful people and the whole body of the faithful.  In a word, church (and Church). God designed the ecclesia to bring the message of the gospel to the world.  Point one: we need church. We as Christians need to be involved in the church because the body, this community, is specifically called to share the Good News-- you can't do it alone. You are called to evangelize where you are, to be a ...

“We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.” Hebrews 6:19-20   The author of Hebrews packs a whole lot into just a few verses... the wisdom God shares with us just blows me away sometimes.  Anyways, the subtitle of this section of verses is called "The Certainty of God's Promise." It speaks of God's promise to Abraham that was passed down through the generations as he "desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose" (v17).  He created this hope for us.  Heirs to the promise.  And there were and are two unchangeable aspects of this promise: 1. It is impossible for God to lie, 2. We who have fled for refuge might have a strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us (v18). ...

Just a thought for tonight. I drove with a friend out to Grove City, PA to visit my sister at school today.  On the way, we listened to the Greatest Showman (on full volume, of course).  And in the last song, From Now On, these couple of lines resonated with me: "...and from that rubble, what remains, can only be what's true // if all was lost, there's more I gained, cause' it led me back to you..." Wisdom from the P.T. Barnum.  One: great movie.  Two: probably my favorite song in the movie.  Three: there is just such truth in these verses.  When everything else falls apart, the only thing we have left to hold to is the truth.  And when we lose everything we have ever known, even when we lose ourselves, the struggle leads us back to God.  In the rubble, God sees what is broken and sees beauty.  His paths are full of mystery and wonder, and sometimes the heartache brings us back to the truth. 

Inspiration for this post brought to you by my mom (: I talked the other day about how I’m a 2 on the enneagram.  2’s struggle most with pride. And I’ve realized mine has been unchecked the past few days. As a helper I want to care for people, get things done, and fix things. And in return for my oh so generous acts, I hope and expect you to care for me and my needs too. When those expectations aren’t met, cynicism can sneak into my heart and entangle itself in the truths I whisper to myself.   I put 110% into everything I do. I strive for excellence and I do my best. I think that’s what we’re all called to— to do our best. But if we lose sight of love in the process, that’s when pride and self sufficiency become our close friends and patience and grace take a backseat.  So how do we balance the two? Love is a true calling, and so is excellence. I know for me, I need to take a step back from myself. Pause in the moment, and ask why am I doing the work that...

"Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart." Truth in the inward being. This makes me think about what we said yesterday about speaking truth to our hearts. But here, it says that God delights in the truth that lives inside us.  There is a joy that is paired with truth.  Since Christ is truth, this makes sense.  We whisper his love to our hearts by meditating on his word, and this love can't be contained-- it causes joy to overflow. Speak truth.  Even when truth hurts.  Meditate on it, and feed yourself with love.  From this space of openness and awareness, God can move in our hearts.  He can teach us wisdom and erase pride.  He can heal wounds and bring us to open waters where we can rely on him more.  His love believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.  It never fails.  And that's the truth.

No post yesterday. My mental and physical health required some extra rest.  And I guess that's the thing, I set out to write 31 days, that was the goal, and now it'll be just 30. I won't meet my goal.  Am I disappointed that I missed a day? Yes.  But was I relieved when my head hit the pillow? Yes.  So I missed one day.  Most people would say, whatever, no biggie, in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter.  And that's true.  But some would also say that I set out a goal to discipline myself to write every day for 31 days-- commit.  And they are right too.  Here's what I say.  I am not using this time of rest as a cop-out to skip more days.  But I also know when rest is more important than meeting every goal.  I worked two jobs yesterday and got some homework done-- that's worth something.  The day was long and pretty rough if I'm honest (I got a good cry in too).  But now I'm going to get organized so I can...

God uses brokenness to make us whole. In this fall season, when the treetops transform into a golden canopy, everything is temporarily preparing for death.  The season will merge with the frost and the life in the ground will stand still until spring. In this "brokenness," this season of transition and transformation, there is beauty.  In our lives, there are moments when we have nothing together and our minds are scattered and thrown to the wind.  But in those times, there is hope because God takes those pieces that fall to the floor, he takes our weaknesses, our fatigue, our worry, our frustration (whatever we hand over to him) and he creates something beautiful. There's this old parable about a cracked pot. To paraphrase, this pot can't hold water like the pot on the other side of the yoke, and it's disappointed and self-conscious about itself since it comes back from the well only half full.  Little does the pot know, the gardener knew the pot was cracke...

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.  -John 1:14 I mean, there it is.  The Word, the truth, the Son of God, revealed his glory in grace and truth.  He made himself known to us so we could be fully known and fully loved.  He unveiled truth to the world and made himself accessible to all. That's the thing about truth, love demands it.  Love requires trust and requires being known.  The deepest darkest parts of our soul that fester in shame, the selfishness that takes over our conscience.  It's truth. The hurts and aches that live in our hearts, the regrets we keep bottled up, the bitterness that simmers far below the surface for years.  It's truth. The joys, the successes, the things that give us life.  They're truth too. In love, they are all known.  In light of God's glory, truth and grace coexist and are given to us in l...

Story time: I let someone merge into my lane ahead of me today on my way to work, and when they crossed that white dotted line, I was really hoping they would wave to say thank you or something to that effect.   And when I say hoping, I don't mean I was sitting there thinking "please wave, please wave, please wave!" More, deep in my soul, I wanted to feel appreciated. I had done the kind thing here. There was heavy traffic, it was the right thing to do in the moment since they needed to get over to the exit... I did good.  So why did I need gratitude? The truth is I did the right thing. But as a human, I wanted more. I wanted to be seen and appreciated.  My pride longed for a little boost. I don't know if you're familiar with the Enneagram, but I am a two.  A two is a helper-- they are empathetic and see people's needs.  In turn, they try to provide these needs so that they are, you guessed it, needed themselves.  Obviously, this is not an excuse...

" If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31b-32).   The truth will set you free. We know that Jesus is the Word, and if we abide in the word we will know truth. I believe truth lies in the gospel.  I am a sinner.  I am messed up and imperfect and that is the truth.  And there is freedom in knowing this.  I don't have to prove myself, I know that I can never be perfect.  While this isn't a cop-out to do whatever, there is still hope in knowing forgiveness. But there is more-- Christ came and died for my sinfulness.  And he erupted from the grave three days later, conquering sin and death. This is truth too, and the freedom that comes from this truth is inexplicable.  Grace underserved.  Love unmeasurable. Freedom from shame.     Abide in his word, make a dwelling place in it.  It's full of truth.  It is truth.  Y...

I am a soul that has not arrived yet.   Oh, the hope in these words. Potential, value, humanity, eternity, and expectation packed into a sentence less than ten words long. To live is Christ... to live is to be to be a person because Christ was. And yet I have a soul which means that I have eternity tucked in my inmost being. But that eternity has just begun I haven't arrived. I am on a narrow road but my Savior is before and behind. There will be failure and hurt, but there will also be great joy and learning, immense satisfaction, and soul-healing peace. I am a soul that has not arrived. Oh, the hope in these words.

I am so tired.  I don't know about you, but my body has carried me through some long days and my heart has held some burdens tight for too long. Sealed in the corner of my soul, fingers are closely locked together around worries and anger that have lingered long enough for them to feel comfortable in my grasp.  They live there in the dark, gaining weight as they sit lazily there with nowhere to go.  My grip is strong.  As I become more exhausted, the ache that sticks around in the bottom of my neck makes itself remembered as my soul lets those weights creep in there.  I need to breathe. I unfold my fists, one finger at a time, and inhale that familiar forced calm, exhaling my frustrations... yet they remain.  Peace is hard to find when you hold onto too much in your heart.  Burdens suffocate your soul and leave you exhausted and ready to stay in bed all day. Sometimes I literally open my hands when I'm at this point.  I sit sti...

A few months ago I was listening to Annie Downs podcast and the guest on this particular episode talked about “the examine” as a prayer he uses and during his quiet time with God.  Side note: so often we think that we have to read Scripture in our quiet time to build our relationship with Jesus, and while reading the Bible is extremely important and valuable, it’s not the only tool in our toolbox.  Anyway, the examine is a great contemplative prayer that I have been trying to practice more, since it helps me to reflect and see God’s fingerprints in my day. I had noticed at the time that when someone asked me how my week was on Sunday, I could barely remember specific details from the past few days except the fact that I worked and did homework. I had been hurrying through my days and hadn’t given myself any time to process anything or down time to reflect of what the Spirit had been teaching me.  So I thought I’d share this prayer exercise with you. Set aside...

You know Sabbath is a commandment, right? "Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God..." (Exodus 20:8-11). No one, not even servants were supposed to work on the Sabbath.  God regarded this commandment to be just as important as "do not murder." With this kind of severity (and there were major consequences for not keeping the Sabbath in the old testament), why don't we hold ourselves accountable to this commandment as often as we should? We live in a world that tells us to do and forget being .  I mean, be yourself, but that means do all the things that will make you unique.  We are valued by what we accomplish and how many unique abilities we have.  I know that I am guilty of finding my worth in what I do, I've shared this before.  Maybe that's why we hear so many worship songs about God's love for us-- we know that we don't have to ear...

Hello friends, It's me again. I just wanted to remind you that my life is in no way, shape, or form put together. Social media can paint a pretty picture all day long, but I'm still behind the canvas trying to figure out what God really wants me to do. So, I wanted to take a minute to be vulnerable... for anyone reading this, maybe we can be vulnerable together. I am self-conscious.  I typically don't like the way I look-- mirrors and cameras are not my friends. My skin is rarely clear, my hair is always frizzy, and even when I'm not tired, I probably look it. I could go on. I am anxious.  I worry about the future.  I hold onto the past.  I'm human.  But my head constantly spits through billions of thoughts in a single minute.  Most days it can be difficult to determine what's rational and what isn't because I am hypersensitive to how people see me. Sometimes I'm depressed.  Yeah, hard times come and I'm sad.  However, more often I am blue...

When I think about rest and sabbath, I think a lot about my experience during La Vida three years ago.  I learned much about being present, slowing down, and leaning into the Spirit while hiking the Adirondacks for 12 days. When we calm our bodies and truly take time to be still, oftentimes our minds still wander and race about.  I had 2 days of complete aloneness and fasting while I was out in the woods, and while I wanted to use that time to listen to God and journal about everything, I’ll admit that at times, it was hard to focus. My stomach would begin to growl, I felt weak and tired, my mind just meandered around so many topics... it was hard. And at the time I beat myself up about it. But after some practice, Ive learned to gently acknowledge any distraction and guide myself back to my prayers.  Having two days of completely nothing was such a blessing, but now I’m in a season of life that is constantly moving. I work two part time jobs, go to school online...

Without truth, how do we hope? Hope inherently requires us to trust in the thing we hope in, and you would never trust something that you didn't believe was true.  Hope needs truth in order to take root in our souls. That's why in hopeless situations we turn to anything stable, anything we know, things that don't change.  When we come to the end of ourselves, we often turn to God and his Word for hope-- and we usually see him work the most clearly here because we have nothing else to distract our gaze on him. I know that I, albeit selfishly, look to him and wait for him to fix the mess I'm in.  Now, God is constant.  But that doesn't mean hope in him means an instant clean up.  I mentioned yesterday how Jesus is truth.  And in his truth, Jesus promises us that we will face hardships (John 16:33).  But even in the midst of life at it's rawest state, his words of love and restoration can sing louder if we only look back to see the verses he w...

      So oddly enough, while hope has been my word of the year, the word truth has become something that has heavily laid on my heart for the past few months. When I think about truth, the first thing that comes to mind is Scripture. It is truth, the truth, everything we need to know, right in front of us.  It tells us who we are, who we're becoming, it tells us all about who God is, what he's like, what he has done and will do, it gives guidance, correction, encouragement, assurance. It is truth. Side note: if you don't believe the Bible is all these things, you probably won't agree with or understand all of this post.  I do have some evidence about the Bible's validity if you're interested, but that is a completely different conversation.  For now, I appreciate you being here and your patient ear.       Anyway, truth.  The Bible tells us that Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth , and the life. No one comes to the Father...

This year, I asked God to give me a word to think about (last year my word was joy-- you can even look back here and on my social media and see I wrote a lot about it).  But if I'm honest, I haven't taken much time to contemplate my word for 2018, and I haven't really seen its significance in my life. So as the year wraps up I ask God, why hope? I reflect on the many seasons I went through this year: joy, heartbreak, waiting, questioning, business... I know God was there, and I know he was working, but how does hope tie into all of it? So I pause and remember.  In the joy, he showed me his faithfulness and provision.  I remembered how good he is.  In those moments of remembering, there was also hope.  Hope that my Father would continue to show me his kindness. In the heartache, I leaned into his promises and listened to him whisper comfort when the lies in my head screamed over the storm in my soul.  That comfort was hope for a new day tomorrow....

Day One It’s been a while. I want to be more disciplined about writing daily and sharing what I’m learning, so I’m taking the next 31 days to talk a bit about hope, truth, and sabbath specifically (and probably some more along the way). I want to reflect on past seasons and evaluate the season I’m in. So I’ll be here every day this month, and I hope you’ll join me for the adventure!