Hello friends,
It's me again. I just wanted to remind you that my life is in no way, shape, or form put together. Social media can paint a pretty picture all day long, but I'm still behind the canvas trying to figure out what God really wants me to do. So, I wanted to take a minute to be vulnerable... for anyone reading this, maybe we can be vulnerable together.
I am self-conscious. I typically don't like the way I look-- mirrors and cameras are not my friends. My skin is rarely clear, my hair is always frizzy, and even when I'm not tired, I probably look it. I could go on.
I am anxious. I worry about the future. I hold onto the past. I'm human. But my head constantly spits through billions of thoughts in a single minute. Most days it can be difficult to determine what's rational and what isn't because I am hypersensitive to how people see me.
Sometimes I'm depressed. Yeah, hard times come and I'm sad. However, more often I am blue for no apparent reason. I'm not motivated. I just want to sit in bed, cuddle my elephant, and watch Star Wars or do nothing at all but sleep. But since I can't, the sadness gets masked in business, fidgeting, and forcing a smile so I can appear, at least, okay.
Other days, I'm fine. I feel like a normal human being. Whatever "normal" is. I begin to wonder how long the feeling will last, and oh look, we're back to anxiety. It's a vicious cycle.
But there's an eye to every hurricane, and this one is full of grace and peace. When I find my way to the heart of the storm inside my mind, I am greeted by the warm embrace of my Redeemer. He sees my cracks, my bumps, my scars, and while he may heal some and leave others to sting for now, he sees me. All of me. Me: the person hiding behind the canvas. Me: the self-conscious, anxious mess.
But he sees me: His child. His love. His masterpiece. His craftsmanship that he could not have made more beautiful. He tells me I am worthy.
Can I tell you something? I don't always believe this. I pray that you do. Because this is how he sees you too. He can see straight through the masks and makeup and costumes and filters and smiles and knows-- fully knows-- your whole heart. And he loves you. What amazing grace. What hope. Rest in it today.
It's me again. I just wanted to remind you that my life is in no way, shape, or form put together. Social media can paint a pretty picture all day long, but I'm still behind the canvas trying to figure out what God really wants me to do. So, I wanted to take a minute to be vulnerable... for anyone reading this, maybe we can be vulnerable together.
I am self-conscious. I typically don't like the way I look-- mirrors and cameras are not my friends. My skin is rarely clear, my hair is always frizzy, and even when I'm not tired, I probably look it. I could go on.
I am anxious. I worry about the future. I hold onto the past. I'm human. But my head constantly spits through billions of thoughts in a single minute. Most days it can be difficult to determine what's rational and what isn't because I am hypersensitive to how people see me.
Sometimes I'm depressed. Yeah, hard times come and I'm sad. However, more often I am blue for no apparent reason. I'm not motivated. I just want to sit in bed, cuddle my elephant, and watch Star Wars or do nothing at all but sleep. But since I can't, the sadness gets masked in business, fidgeting, and forcing a smile so I can appear, at least, okay.
Other days, I'm fine. I feel like a normal human being. Whatever "normal" is. I begin to wonder how long the feeling will last, and oh look, we're back to anxiety. It's a vicious cycle.
But there's an eye to every hurricane, and this one is full of grace and peace. When I find my way to the heart of the storm inside my mind, I am greeted by the warm embrace of my Redeemer. He sees my cracks, my bumps, my scars, and while he may heal some and leave others to sting for now, he sees me. All of me. Me: the person hiding behind the canvas. Me: the self-conscious, anxious mess.
But he sees me: His child. His love. His masterpiece. His craftsmanship that he could not have made more beautiful. He tells me I am worthy.
Can I tell you something? I don't always believe this. I pray that you do. Because this is how he sees you too. He can see straight through the masks and makeup and costumes and filters and smiles and knows-- fully knows-- your whole heart. And he loves you. What amazing grace. What hope. Rest in it today.
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