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A Word About Gentleness


        The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. We know these by heart; we may even know a song to remember them.  We recite them time after time, but how often do we check to see if these fruit are actually evident in our lives? If you're like me, it's not as often as I should. 

        And what has happened to gentleness? I won't make the argument that it's more important than any of the other fruits, but I feel it has become far too easily forgotten in our time-- gentleness in word, in action, and in spirit.

        So what is it-- gentleness, I mean? The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as "the quality of being kind, tender, or mild-mannered." Okay. In biblical terms, gentleness is associated with humility and love. Paul does not simply encourage us to act with gentleness, but urges us: "I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness with patience, bearing with one another in love" (Ephesians 4:1-2, ESV).  Paul also commands us to "pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness" (1 Timothy 6:11, ESV). 

        How often do we pursue these things?  Maybe we try for a day.  We feel the struggle, possibly the reward, but then the pursuit fizzles away, and we forget.  And I feel we forget gentleness too often. Sure, we have moments when we realize we should love more, be more kind, more patient, more faithful, but when do we remind ourselves to be more gentle?

        James points out that the tongue is like a fire that can so easily set ablaze an entire forest.  We bless and curse with the same tongue, and that shouldn't be so.  Sarcasm, especially sarcasm that holds truth in it, witty comments that manipulate, cursing that is muttered under our breath, all these, while maybe unintentional, are enemies of gentleness.

        But, I believe this gentleness not only applies to others, but to ourselves as well.  So often we judge ourselves and we dismiss the signs our bodies give us that they need care.  If our bodies are the dwelling place of God, shouldn't we strive to steward this temple?  If we are not gentle with ourselves, how can we be gentle to others?

        Gentleness is vital to thriving.  Without it, we become lost in selfishness, harsh ways, heartache.  We need to remember to clothe ourselves in the fruit of the spirit, care for ourselves so we can care for others, and remember that gentleness is a fruit that derives from a life of following Christ.  He is the ultimate example of gentleness: loving those who were unlovable, speaking truth and even rebuking in ways that elicited his care. 

Yes, we will face our fair-share of challenges in this world-- we are human and life gets messy, especially with relationships.  But without the gentleness of our Father that encompasses love, joy, peace, and many of the other fruits, we will get stuck in the mess.  We must learn to be more gentle, with others and with ourselves. 

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